The Problem of the Self-Help Industry

Self-help is a massive industry, and understandably so. Dynamic and charismatic speakers like Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, and Simon Sinek are highly influential. Their teachings and opinions have invaded the top charts of books, podcasts, and more.

Why is that? They are meeting a felt need amongst the population. Self-help gurus are incredibly popular because people, to a certain extent, understand they need to have better habits, make better decisions, and change how they think. People do want to improve their lives—there’s no question about that.

But at what cost? At what level? Self-help teachings are only truly helpful to a certain degree. That is because they place the individual at the center of the story. You, according to the self-help industry, are the most important in your world. Be selfish, they say.

I sat through a self-help professional development seminar recently. And don’t get me wrong, a lot of the advice was helpful. So yes, indeed, some of the discussion does help . . . self. But during one part of the seminar, the speaker plainly said to be selfish when it comes to the most important person in your world: you. To be sure, this was in the context of explaining how you can’t take care of your family and others around you if you’re not taking care of yourself. I understand that. But the claim is simply erroneous. The intent is good (I think) but the solution is horrifically incorrect, let alone unbiblical. I can take care of myself as an image bearer of God without being number one in my life.

Kyle Strobel, in a video at TGC, said this regarding the self-help industry:

The second we give ourselves to self-help, we are capitulating to a culture that assumes that self is centered, and now I just give myself to things to better myself, to identify myself. We really need to hear Jesus here, that if you try to save your life, you lose it….If you want to discover yourself, you discover yourself in Christ. You don’t somehow create a self. You don’t establish a self. You discover it in him.

The deepest problem with the self-help industry is it places you, the consumer, at the center. That is simply antithetical to biblical teachings. Where the self-help industry says Think about yourself first, Jesus tells us to Think of others before yourself.

This quote from Mel Robbins is a great example of the nonsense you might read:

You don’t give yourself enough credit, you are a lot stronger than you think.

This is anti-biblical. As a matter of fact, you’d need to flip this statement over to make it biblical: “You give yourself too much credit, you are far weaker than you think.” When we admit our weakness, that’s when we see God the strongest. It’s not about us, but Him.

There are two colossal issues with the self-help industry. First, like mentioned above, it places the self at the center of the universe. In order to help self, one must place self first. Second, it only helps at the surface level and doesn’t get down to the most fundamental problem of humans: sin.

Perhaps you can improve your life by putting yourself first. Maybe you will change a few habits and have a better work ethic—but to what end? I don’t think any self-help teacher would advocate for you to neglect your family and friends, but that’s kind of the logical conclusion. It’s all about self. Like the seminar teacher explained: Put yourself first so you can take care of others. Listen, I understand it. How can I take care of and serve my wife and children if I’m not in a good place? So, to that extent, I understand it. But that can only go so far. The way you really improve yourself is by looking away from yourself, not within. You improve as a person by focusing on Jesus and others. Take the attention off yourself and place it on serving the people around you.

However, the most fundamental error with self-help teaching is allowing people to feel better about themselves by changing a few things in their life, but still neglecting the major problem of their relationship with sin. There are exceptions to this, of course. But generally speaking, it is surface-level change when a heart change needs to happen. Jesus did not say, “You need to change a few things about your life,” but said, “You need to be born again (Jn. 3:3).

And that right there is the ultimate reason why the self-help industry doesn’t really work. “There are a thousand new self-help books every year,” Jared C. Wilson once wrote, “because every year none of them work.” These books perhaps will show up on the New York Times bestseller list—and might help you break a few bad habits and be more organized—but they won’t make a lasting, abiding change in your life. If you’re a Christian, they likely won’t contribute to your authentic sanification in Christ. Look to the Bible for that. If you’re not a Christian, self-help neglects the change you really need: a new life in Christ.

Is this a complete indictment on the self-help industry? No, not outright. There are certain aspects of it that are beneficial. But at the end of the day, self-help won’t ever solve the problem because it doesn’t provide a definitive solution. Jesus does.

We don’t need to become better people, but new people. And if we’re new (born again) people, we don’t become improved versions of ourselves by looking inward, but outward. And at that, the goal is not to just make an improvement here and there, but to become wholly more like Jesus every single day. Could self-help help with that? Theoretically, yes. But that’s not what God prescribed in His Word. It’s like the critical race theory (CRT) debate. Could you use CRT as an analytical tool? In theory, yes, but why use something that, at the fundamental level, is really opposed to a biblical worldview?

The same is true with self-help. If you’re looking to be more like Jesus, don’t flock to the self-help book section, but dive into God’s Word. Seek counsel from your pastor(s). Get recommendations of good, biblically sound Christian books that will point you to Jesus.

The self-help industry understands that there is a problem with ourselves, but in the end, offers surface-level and potentially damaging solutions. Flock to Jesus in the Bible instead.