In the Middle of the Night
Praying to God at 1 a.m.
You’ll notice I use present tense in a lot of this even though it happened a few days ago. I kept it like that so you could kind of experience it with me if that makes sense. Sorry if it’s confusing!
I’m currently lying on my couch; it’s 1:07 a.m, April 30, 2025.1 About three hours ago I went to bed knowing a storm was coming that would likely wake my children up and bring them to our bed. Not a huge deal. But the storm was arriving “early” enough that it was hard for me to go to sleep, so I don’t think I ever did.
Piper came into the room probably around 11:30 p.m. Again, not a big deal. The storm was loud! (And just for the record, my town has received nearly a foot of rain in April. I think we’re good now.) But then something else happened. Piper absolutely flipped out. Screaming in pain, she wouldn’t stop complaining about her mouth/tooth/throat hurting. Honestly, we’re still not sure what is hurting her or if it’s all that serious.2 Perhaps she’s delirious; maybe, as Shale suggested, she’s having a night terror. I have no idea.
But I don’t think I’ve ever pleaded with God more than I have tonight. Lord, please make her stop. God, please help her. Lord, please help us. God—what are you doing?!
Tears ran down my face as I sat there not understanding why Piper was so upset. I could say, “Piper, stop yelling,” but that only made her yell more. We were, of course, all exhausted. We need sleep; it’s the middle of the night.
Now I’m back on the couch, as mentioned, and am too wired to even try to sleep. Partly because I’ve been up too long, and partly because I’m truly afraid/anxious that Piper is going to scream again. Maybe I should read Philippians 4:6.
This is truly a test of my faith, of my character, of my reliance and trust in the Lord. I don’t have the slightest clue what he’s bringing about from this. Sure, I can give you the generic, “For my good and his glory.” That is indeed true. And I believe that with all my heart. And it’s enough—but I want more.
I want to know more about why this happened, but I know I would overthink it if I dwelled on it. Sometimes these things happen. Does God have purpose behind it? I’m sure he does. But I do keep returning in my mind to the truth that God never sleeps.
He’s all ears at 8 a.m. when I go to work and he’s all ears at 1 a.m. when I have no idea what’s going on, but I know I can turn to him. I know I can talk to him. I know I can plead with him. I know I can cry to him. I know I can ask anything of him. He may not always say “yes” but I trust his answers.
It’s 1:18 a.m. now. Still a bit wired (definitely after writing this). But I needed to get it out. Maybe I’ll go to sleep. Maybe I won’t.
Well, it’s 8:56 a.m. — I fortunately did go to sleep, albeit only until 5:45 a.m. when I usually wake up.
I am utterly exhausted, as is my wife. And I look back hours ago and still wonder why Piper got so upset—she is fine now—and there are moments I wish I could’ve done differently in my exhausted state. But my mind goes back to this precious truth I mentioned at 1:07 this morning: God never sleeps. He never slumbers. He’s never drifting off or not fully engaged. It doesn’t matter when it is, you can go to him. He’s listening. He’s attentive. He’s inclining his ear to the cries of his children.
That’s what I take hope in; that’s what keeps me going at times, knowing he is listening and cares. His care for me doesn’t mean sleepless nights and a screaming child in the middle of the night won’t come again—and I may never understand why that happens (and I also shouldn’t overthink it)—but I do know he’s right there with me. More than anything else, I know he’s using this in ways I will never understand. And that’s fine by me.
I am being specific about the time since people will not read this when I exactly wrote it. So . . . timestamps. :)
Update: she explained to me later that morning that it’s her throat. But she’s okay.
Glad she's ok. Very relatable Substack!