Your Love Denied Them to Me
Being okay with not receiving everything we desire
Think of that one thing you desired in life that you wound up not receiving. Maybe it was a promotion at work. Perhaps it was the more spacious home in the better part of town. Whatever it was, you prayed continuously but God ultimately decided it wasn’t for you.
And that hurts.
I can think of many moments in my life like this. There was something I wanted but, in the end, it proved to be not for me. And that was painful. One such moment was when there was a pastoral vacancy in my town. In my mind it was the perfect opportunity. I noticed one day the former pastor was moving and thought to myself, “God, are you doing something here?” As I thought about it, I decided it just wasn’t the right time. I didn’t think I was ready. But then my wife brought it up the next day. I took that as a sign God leaving the door ajar. I thought, “If my wife is on board with this, then maybe God is telling me this is something I should pursue.”
With that, we began to pray—and pray a lot. Never in my life have I prayed for something so much. My mind was fixated on the prospect of officially beginning pastoral ministry, and most certainly doing so in my local area. The more I prayed, the more I felt God opening the door. To make a long story short, I was wrong. The door was technically unlocked, but I think I pushed it open by force. Safe to say, the position didn’t work out. I withdrew my name before they called a new pastor there.1
I read in The Valley of Vision recently for the first time in awhile, and the following struck me: “All my desires have not been gratified, but your love denied them to me when fulfillment of my wishes would have proved my ruin or injury.”
Your loved denied them. God’s love.
This hurts when it happens, but it’s so true. It makes me think of the times when my oldest wants to down her lemonade as fast as she can. We tell her to slow down because it gives her a stomach ache when she drinks it quickly. She doesn’t like it when we say that, but we know the end result.
The same is true when God, in his unfathomable and sovereign love, doesn’t give us something we are asking for. He denied them to us in his love. He said no to our request—even if it’s a good thing—because he knows the end result. He knows what it’ll do to our hearts; he knows how it’ll make us treat other people; he knows that it will end in disaster.
We shouldn’t expect God to fulfill all our wishes; and we should rejoice that he doesn’t. We’d take back many of our wishes if we could see into the future. We wouldn’t ask for many of the things we ask for if we knew what it would do to us and those around us.
Although I wanted nothing more than to be a pastor, it’s clear in my heart that I put it up on a pedestal; I also wasn’t ready. And it also wouldn’t have been the greatest situation. I am thankful that God, in his love, denied me.
What has God denied you in his love? Perhaps it’s something that happened recently that you’re still discouraged by. Maybe it’s something that happened years ago and, if you admit, you’re still bitter about it. Consider God’s love, friend. Ponder his mercy toward you. There are many things in life that seem good for us from our eyes, but would be terrible for us from God’s. Who knows more? Who sees more?
God does, of course. So leave it there in his hands; trust his plan, his purpose for your life. If you’re disappointed, give him your disappointment. If you’re angry, give him your angry. But above all, trust him.
Much wisdom in this post!